Cheating

Cheating is a terrible thing. Obviously, you shouldn't do it.

But, what if your S/O does cheat on you? What do you do?

Personally, I have never been cheated on. I've never cheated on anyone either, despite claims from an acquaintance that I had.

But, there are things that people forgive and there are things that go to far and are unforgivable. These things vary from person to person, so what one person might forgive, another will freak out and break up with the cheating S/O.

Things that people consider cheating are: (Note: These are all dependent on each person. What one person thinks is alright isn't for another.)

Kissing/making out- Kissing isn't really too big of a deal and can be forgiven, given the right circumstance. Making out... well, that goes a bit too far and is less easily forgiven.

Touchy feely things- Again, not really something that is too forgivable. It's one of those things that you are conscience of and mean to do.

Making love- That just crosses the line because it's, again, something that you're conscience of and mean to do.

relevant link

Friendzone

Honestly, I was going to write a companion post to the whole "Good Guy" thing, but I came across this link a few weeks ago and, while it's not something I 100% agree with, it has some rather good points.

First, I figure that I'd mention that there's an article about it on Wikipedia which explains what it is:

In popular culture, the "friend zone" refers to a platonic relationship where one person wishes to enter into a romantic relationship while the other does not. It is generally considered to be an undesirable situation by the lovelorn person. Once the friend zone is established, it is said to be difficult to move beyond that point in a relationship.

Secondly, the post about friendzoning, itself, is rather lengthy, though it's an interesting read. It's right over here, if you're interested Though it's got a lot of curse words, so avoid reading this around kids.

Anniversaries

Since Ethan and I had our anniversary last Thursday, I figured I'd cover this. Anniversaries are an important part of dating. I mean, it's when you started dating, though I think that's pretty obvious. It's good to do cute things for your anniversary like go out to a nice restaurant or just have a date together no matter what or spend some time together at home. Even if you're in a long distance relationship, you could go on a Skype/Tinychat/Veemoo/etc. date and be together like that. Be happy together and try and spend as much time as possible with each other. If, for some reason you can't be together that day (work, school, etc.), then ask them ahead of time to see if you can reschedule your date/together time. If one of you or both of you, by chance, forgets your anniversary, it might hurt your significant other and that's not something that you want to happen. Especially in a long distance relationship. Because you can't readily see them, spending more time with them via Skype/Tinychat/etc is even more special and crucial because you don't get to spend as much time together as you'd like, especially in person. So, spend as much time as you can with your S/O because it's good quality time with someone that you love.

In regard to my last post and the comments

The one about the whole "Good Guy" syndrome

But I don't completely believe that there is a black and white classification to people. But, there are the extremes that adhere to that whole "Good Guy" thing that only want one thing and get upset when they don't get it.

There are always going to be jerks out there, of any gender, who are in a friendship so they can go out with a person and take it much farther. They tend to get really mad that they couldn't "get with" someone that they had their eye one because of whatever reason (that person wasn't interested, that person doesn't want a relationship, that person is already in a relationship, etc)

But there are people out there that don't try for relationship and end up in one because they are genuinely are being a cool person. That's pretty much how I ended up with Ethan.

Now, I know a bunch of people who went out with their friends and realized that they really just wanted to be friends and ended the relationship. And, y'know, that's totally fine. Trying things out and realizing that they do or don't work is part of life.

My thing is the "good guys" that complain about not getting the person they've been eying up and getting upset about them being "friendzoned" and coming up with elaborate ways to bring down that person and say everyone of x gender is a no good [insult of your choice] and that's why no one like x gender.

Things like "All men are scum" and "All women are sleazy" and the like bother me because it's blanket terms over one gender because someone's all bent out of shape because they were rejected.

I figure, you get rejected, you cut your losses and move on to someone who would be more suited to you and your tastes. Don't let rejection get you too down because it's not good for you. Just move on and don't get hung up on what could have been and go find out what can be.

Artist: Frank Sinatra
Song: Somewhere Beyond the Sea

Somewhere beyond the sea
Somewhere waitin' for me
My lover stands on golden sand
And watches the ships that go sailin'

Somewhere beyond the sea
She's there watchin' for me
If I could fly like birds on high
Then straight to her arms I'd go sailin'

I reworded this for class because the original is riddled with curses and whatnot (the original picture will be up on the Tumblr companion and the twitter feed).

I have a lot of issues with the whole "Good Guy" situation. There are a lot of people (I've seen it mainly with guys, but it can be applied to anyone, no matter what gender) nag and complain about how they get over looked and how they're a good guy and that all the girls/boys/etc should show some sort of interest in them.

They complain that, despite all their hard work and effort and trying to be a good friend, that girls/guys/etc. don't see anything in them and get mad and bent out of shape because they got rejected. They are only nice to the people they like and try to seem like they're not interested and start out as friends with their only intent being that they want a date from that person or would like to have relations with that person, pretty much only using their friendship to get to that point.

Now, I usually call this the "Good Guy Syndrome." I don't like people like this. I typically avoid them because they're not good people to start off with. It's hard to describe how people like this act, but it's like instinct.

These are the kinds of people who get really mad about being "Friend zoned," something of which I'll get into in a later post.

There's also the "Nice Guy," who will be your friend and expect nothing out of you. Sure, there's that chance that they may like you, but they're not going to pursue a relationship you because they actually value your friendship over the chance to be in a relationship with you.

Now, the jury's out as to which of these terms is correct, but this is how I tend to see it, so... I think that I'm missing a few points, but this is generally how I feel about this issue :/

Since this is actually quite pertinent to this blog

And since I plan on covering a few of these topics, here are some help lines, some general and some not related to relationships, that can help you with professional help. If all else fails, please contact one of these numbers. If you don't have someone to lean on or someone that will listen to you, even if it's a stranger, call these people up with whatever concerns you have about the designated topics.

Depression

Suicide Hotline: 1-800-SUICIDE (2433) – Can use in US, U.K., Canada and Singapore
Suicide Crisis Line: 1-800-999-9999
National Suicide Prevention Helpline: 1-800-273-TALK (8245)
National Adolescent Suicide Helpline: 1-800-621-4000
Postpartum Depression: 1-800-PPD-MOMS
NDMDA Depression Hotline – Support Group: 1-800-826-3632
Veterans: 1-877-VET2VET
Crisis Help Line – For Any Kind of Crisis: 1-800-233-4357
Suicide & Depression Crisis Line – Covenant House: 1-800-999-9999

Domestic Abuse

National Child Abuse Helpline: 1-800-422-4453
National Domestic Violence Crisis Line: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
National Domestic Violence Hotline (TDD): 1-800-787-32324
Center for the Prevention of School Violence: 1-800-299-6504
Child Abuse Helpline: 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453)
Domestic Violence Helpline: 1-800-548-2722
Healing Woman Foundation (Abuse): 1-800-477-4111
Child Abuse Hotline Support & Information: 1-800-792-5200
Women’s Aid National Domestic Violence Helpline: (UK Only) 0345 023 468
Sexual Abuse Centre: (UK Only) 0117 935 1707
Sexual Assault Support (24/7, English & Spanish): 1-800-223-5001
Domestic & Teen Dating Violence (English & Spanish: 1-800-992-2600

Alcohol & Drug Abuse

National Association for Children of Alcoholics: 1-888-55-4COAS (1-888-554-2627)
National Drug Abuse: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)
Al-Anon/Alateen Hope & Help for young people who are the relatives & friends of a problem drinker): 1-800-344-2666
Alcohol/Drug Abuse Hotline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)
Be Sober Hotline: 1-800-BE-SOBER (1-800-237-6237)
Cocaine Help Line: 1-800-COCAINE (1-800-262-2463)
24 Hour Cocaine Support Line: 1-800-992-9239
Ecstasy Addiction: 1-800-468-6933
Marijuana Anonymous: 1-800-766-6779

Youth & Teen Hotlines

National Youth Crisis Support: 1-800-448-4663
Youth America Hotline: 1-877-YOUTHLINE (1-877-968-8454)
Covenant House Nine-Line (Teens): 1-800-999-9999
Boys Town National: 1-800-448-3000
Teen Helpline: 1-800-400-0900
TeenLine: 1-800-522-8336
Youth Crisis Support: 1-800-448-4663 or 1-800-422-0009
Runaway Support (All Calls are Confidential): 800-231-6946
Child Helpline: (UK Only) 0800 1111

Pregnancy Hotlines

AAA Crisis Pregnancy Center: 1-800-560-0717
Pregnancy Support: 1-800-4-OPTIONS (1-800-467-8466)
Pregnancy National Helpline: 1-800-356-5761
Young Pregnant Support: 1-800 550-4900

Gay and Lesbian Hotlines

The Trevor Helpline (For homosexuality questions or problems): 1-800-850-8078
Gay & Lesbian National Support: 1-888-THE-GLNH (1-888-843-4564)
Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender (GLBT) Youth Support Line: 1-800-850-8078
Lesbian & Gay Switchboard: (UK Only) 0121 622 6589
Lothian Gay & Lesbian Switchboard – Scotland: (Scotland Only) 0131 556 4049

Other Hotlines

Self-Injury Support: 1-800-DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288) (www.selfinjury.com)
Eating Disorders Awareness and Prevention: 1-800-931-2237 (Hours: 8am-noon daily, PST)
Eating Disorders Center: 1-888-236-1188
Help Finding a Therapist: 1-800-THERAPIST (1-800-843-7274)
Panic Disorder Information and Support: 1-800-64-PANIC (1-800-647-2642)
TalkZone (Peer Counselors): 1-800-475-TALK (1-800-475-2855)
Parental Stress Hotline: 1-800-632-8188
National AIDS Helpline: (UK Only) 0800 567 123

Artist: Goo Goo Dolls
Song: Iris

And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
And sooner or later it's over
I just don't wanna miss you tonight

This kinda strikes me as a long distance song, but I love it, it's the ringtone that I use for Ethan :3

(Image was edited for content so it'd be safe to put on here)

I’m sorry, what if the relationship is abusive or one person is leeching off the other? It’s possibly for them to both be happy, but that doesn’t mean the relationship is healthy.

Piggybacking off of what a friend said.

It’s perfectly fine if s/os are happy with each other and are comfortable and what not. So long as it’s a completely healthy relationship.

It’s not alright if they’re both happy and someone’s being used, cheated on, lied to, abused, or anything else.

Being in a healthy relationship takes precedence over being in a happy-yet-abusive one. Sadly, there are people that still continue to seek out harmful relationships due to certain circumstances which is terrible.

I'll get into abusive relationships sometime soon, but I figured that I'd at least cover this a bit now and get into details later.

Some asks that I got on Tumblr

Not on the Tumblr counterpart of this blog, but another general advice blog that my boyfriend and I run. Asks/advice will be italicized, my answers will be in normal font, and my boyfriend's answers will be in bold. (mind you, this is all from the same person, so there's no confusion)

Dealing with jealous exes isn't fun, but we tried our best to give this person advice.

My fiance's ex was paranoid about me & my fiance getting into a relationship pretty much their entire relationship. My fiance's ex chose to end the relationship not once but twice & after a mutually agreed upon amount of time, they said they would date other people, at which point me & my now fiance started dating because we both happened to be single & discovered that we loved each other. Now the ex is freaking out & making things difficult for us & mutual friends

I feel like I need to try to smooth things over, at least a bit, since we run in the same circle, but there are all of these built up negative feelings and insecurities towards me because she feared this for the last three years and now it’s happened, and I know it’s easier to hate me than my fiance. Should I try to talk to her and, if so, what should I say? I know we did nothing wrong but her ex clearly feels like we did, just by starting to date one another and now getting engaged.

Hrm…

I feel like there are a few options, here.

First being that you and your fiance’s ex (you can have your fiance there, too, if you’d like or if they insist or if it’ll help) sit and have a civil talk about what they’re upset/angry/whatever about and see if there’s any way to resolve their feelings.

Second is to let them know that you don’t appreciate the fact that they’re just being a bit antagonistic and jealous and that they should calm down or that you’ll just break ties with them. Though, try not to come off too confrontational because you don’t really want a fight, or at least a big fight if you can help things.

Third is to just ignore them and cut ties. This is probably a bit more drastic, but this would be a last ditch effort. If they’re not going to be cooperative, it’s best to just cut ties and go about your business.

Sorry if this isn’t everything, but this is just what I could think of for the time being. I could prob’ly think of a few more things, but it generally goes back to these. And I’m sorry for the wording :x

- Chase

Fiance/ex drama back again. Option 1 might work. The ex is very passive-aggressive & tends to back down when having to discuss things directly, even if it's said in a non-confrontational manner. I wouldn't want my fiance there though because I already feel like she's stuck in the middle & that isn't really fair to her & one of the issues already. Option 3 is hard just because it is so drastic & would turn me into the bad guy, which I think is actually what the ex wants.

I know that feeling, anon. So my advice would be to get friends in on this. Have them do an intervention without you there, something along the lines of “This is not acceptable behavior, you need to stop”. That should smooth things out.

Fiance/ex drama. That's kind of the problem is that everyone is becoming resentful over being put in the middle & I feel like if I directly ask to stage an intervention, they're going to become even more resentful. Everyone has indicated that me & the ex need to sort this out ourselves (& I agree) but she refuses to talk to me because I think it's too frightening for her to own up to all of those negative feelings & fears involving me & my fiance, because she was always afraid of that happening.

Well, if you need to sort it out, do it when friends are near. Say, in another or something. That way neither of you can storm off and claim the other did something that they didn’t.

Things you can together

Here are a few things that you can do together with you significant other, whether or not you're in a long distance relationship or not :D

Dates
You can go on date. Take your s/o out and chill together. You don't have to have money to take your s/o out.

If you're in a long distance relationship, you can go on a video date. You can use Skype, Tinychat, Oovoo, and various other video chat programs and sites.

Video games
If your s/o is interested in video games, you can play multiplayer games together.

If you're in an LDR, you can use things like Steam, Xbox Live, and the PSN to connect to your s/o to play games if you have the same games

Food
You can go out for food (breakfast, lunch, dinner, etc) or you can cook for your s/o or you can order out or something.

LDR: You can eat together on cam, if you'd like. It doesn't really have to be a fancy meal, either.

Holidays/Birthdays
You can be there with them and spend time together during important holidays and for their birthdays. It makes that day all the more fun and special.

LDR: You can try and visit when there's a major holiday or if your s/o's birthday is coming up. If you can't visit (money seems to be a big issue), you can send them presents and be there with them on cam to be there for them and to watch them open up their gifts.


And there are various other things that you can do with your s/o, but these are just general things to start you out with :D

Jealousy

Jealousy is not a very pretty thing. No one actually like to be jealous. But, alas, it's a feeling that we all have, like it or not.

People get jealous over things that seem silly or for actual legitimate reasons.

The dictionary stats being jealous as:

feeling or showing envy of someone or their achievements and advantages

and

feeling or showing suspicion of someone's unfaithfulness in a relationship

Depending on the situation, people get jealous over rather silly reasons. But, it might not be jealousy, or it could be more than just jealousy. Things like envy, resentfulness, insecurity, being overprotective, these can also coincide with jealousy.

These feelings suck. No one wants them, but they're part of human nature.

Now, as for trying to quell your jealousy, there are a few things that you can try.

• Try and trust your s/o

I know that, sometimes, that might be hard. Things happen and some things might not be easily forgiven. Just sit and talk to the about it so you can get at least some, if not all, of your trust issues out of the way.

• Try and figure out exactly why you're jealous

I know it could be a long shot, but think long and hard about why you get jealous.

It could be anything from insecurities, your s/o's past, you or your s/o is a pessimist, or various other reasons. Try to narrow it down and see if you can try and deal with the problem a little at a time. No need to try and combat the whole issue on your own as that might stress you out and make matters worse.

• Talk to them

Talk about what makes you jealous and if there's any way that you can try and rectify the situation. I know that it might be hard to talk about it to your s/o, but at least try. If you can't, try and broach it with your friends and see what they say or suggest for you to bring it up to your s/o.

• Try to find constructive things to do

Try and find things that will make you even the slightest bit less jealous. Take your mind off of what ails you by going out or doing something active.

• Therapy

Yes, therapy. If you constantly have jealousy issues and you can't deal with them on your own or talking about them to your loved ones isn't helping all that much, you might want to invest in therapy.

• Last resort

If you really just can't get over being jealous, maybe you should take a break from the relationship or just break up with them. Find someone else that you can trust and see where it takes you.

There are also a few links that could help you out with jealousy and finding other ways to solve your problems.
Top ten ways to deal with jealousy (ask men)
How to deal with jealousy
How to deal with jealousy (power of two marrage)

And there are numerous other links that you can find through google, bing, or whatever your preferred search engine is.

Things you can do on/for dates

There are various things that you can do with your significant other for dates :3

I'll just be putting up things that you can do if your s/o is in the immediate area, I'll do a separate post for things people can do if they're in a long distance relationship.

Movies
You can go see the latest movies that are out in theaters. Whether it be an action, a romance, or a horror, whatever you feel comfortable seeing with your s/o, so long as it's a movie that you're both interested in.

Go out to eat
Be it breakfast, lunch, dinner, or whenever, it'll be nice to go out and have some quality time with someone and have some food with them :3 It doesn't have to be some place swank, just somewhere that you'll both have something to eat and be happy.

Sports
Mini golf, bowling, tennis, basketball, etc. As long at you have fun and it's a common interest to the both of you, it should be fine to take your s/o out to play something and be active.

Go out for a walk
Go out on a nice day and just take in the scenery. Go to the park or go through a nature trail.

Hiking, skiing, kayaking, etc.
More active outdoor activities. As long as you have the money to pursue these, they're a good investment and they're fun :3

Just hang out
It really shouldn't matter where you are, as long as you're with your s/o, you should be happy :3

6 Types of Love

Searching around, I found this link (in the title, redirects you) and this neat little list of the six main types of love. This is the abbreviated version, of course, but it's still rather interesting.

Eros
a passionate physical and emotional love based on aesthetic enjoyment; stereotype of romantic love

Ludus
a love that is played as a game or sport; conquest; may have multiple partners at once

Storge
an affectionate love that slowly develops from friendship, based on similarity

Pragma
love that is driven by the head, not the heart

Mania
obsessive love; experience great emotional highs and lows; very possessive and often jealous lovers

Agape
selfless altruistic love; spiritual

Small note

then I'll get back on topic.

I've decided to have the comments stall (aka, so I can moderate them) incase any of my friends come by and decide that it's a good idea to be a wise guy and leave and kind of silly or rude comment (also, because I have it doubled on Tumblr, so that way they can leave those kinda things there and not here). So, no worries if your comment doesn't automatically, I'll get to it when I get around to looking at Blogger :3

But, I'll make a post in a bit that actually pertains to the blog, sorry about this little blip :P

Top ten relationship words that aren't translatable in English

(compiled by Pamela Haag at BigThink)



1. Mamihlapinatapei (Yagan, an indigenous language of Tierra del Fuego): The wordless yet meaningful look shared by two people who desire to initiate something, but are both reluctant to start. 
Oh yes, this is an exquisite word, compressing a thrilling and scary relationship moment. It’s that delicious, cusp-y moment of imminent seduction. Neither of you has mustered the courage to make a move, yet. Hands haven’t been placed on knees; you’ve not kissed. But you’ve both conveyed enough to know that it will happen soon… very soon.

2. Yuanfen (Chinese): A relationship by fate or destiny. This is a complex concept. It draws on principles of predetermination in Chinese culture, which dictate relationships, encounters and affinities, mostly among lovers and friends.From what I glean, in common usage yuanfen means the “binding force” that links two people together in any relationship. 

But interestingly, “fate” isn’t the same thing as “destiny.” Even if lovers are fated to find each other they may not end up together. The proverb, “have fate without destiny,” describes couples who meet, but who don’t stay together, for whatever reason. It’s interesting, to distinguish in love between the fated and the destined. Romantic comedies, of course, confound the two.

3. Cafuné (Brazilian Portuguese): The act of tenderly running your fingers through someone’s hair.

4. Retrouvailles (French):  The happiness of meeting again after a long time. This is such a basic concept, and so familiar to the growing ranks of commuter relationships, or to a relationship of lovers, who see each other only periodically for intense bursts of pleasure. I’m surprised we don’t have any equivalent word for this subset of relationship bliss. It’s a handy one for modern life.

5. Ilunga (Bantu): A person who is willing to forgive abuse the first time; tolerate it the second time, but never a third time.
Apparently, in 2004, this word won the award as the world’s most difficult to translate. Although at first, I thought it did have a clear phrase equivalent in English: It’s the “three strikes and you’re out” policy. But ilunga conveys a subtler concept, because the feelings are different with each “strike.” The word elegantly conveys the progression toward intolerance, and the different shades of emotion that we feel at each stop along the way.


Ilunga captures what I’ve described as the shade of gray complexity in marriages—Not abusive marriages, but marriages that involve infidelity, for example.  We’ve got tolerance, within reason, and we’ve got gradations of tolerance, and for different reasons. And then, we have our limit. The English language to describe this state of limits and tolerance flattens out the complexity into black and white, or binary code. You put up with it, or you don’t.  You “stick it out,” or not.


Ilunga restores the gray scale, where many of us at least occasionally find ourselves in relationships, trying to love imperfect people who’ve failed us and whom we ourselves have failed.

6. La Douleur Exquise (French): The heart-wrenching pain of wanting someone you can’t have.


When I came across this word I thought of “unrequited” love. It’s not quite the same, though. “Unrequited love” describes a relationship state, but not a state of mind. Unrequited love encompasses the lover who isn’t reciprocating, as well as the lover who desires. La douleur exquise gets at the emotional heartache, specifically, of being the one whose love is unreciprocated.

7. Koi No Yokan (Japanese): The sense upon first meeting a person that the two of you are going to fall into love. 
This is different than “love at first sight,” since it implies that you might have a sense of imminent love, somewhere down the road, without yet feeling it. The term captures the intimation of inevitable love in the future, rather than the instant attraction implied by love at first sight.

8. Ya’aburnee (Arabic): “You bury me.” It’s a declaration of one’s hope that they’ll die before another person, because of how difficult it would be to live without them.


The online dictionary that lists this word calls it “morbid and beautiful.” It’s the “How Could I Live Without You?” slickly insincere cliché of dating, polished into a more earnest, poetic term. 
 
9. Forelsket: (Norwegian):  The euphoria you experience when you’re first falling in love.


This is a wonderful term for that blissful state, when all your senses are acute for the beloved, the pins and needles thrill of the novelty. There’s a phrase in English for this, but it’s clunky. It’s “New Relationship Energy,” or NRE.

10. Saudade (Portuguese): The feeling of longing for someone that you love and is lost. Another linguist describes it as a “vague and constant desire for something that does not and probably cannot exist.”


It’s interesting that saudade accommodates in one word the haunting desire for a lost love, or for an imaginary, impossible, never-to-be-experienced love. Whether the object has been lost or will never exist, it feels the same to the seeker, and leaves her in the same place:  She has a desire with no future. Saudade doesn’t distinguish between a ghost, and a fantasy. Nor do our broken hearts, much of the time.

----

It's a rather interesting list, figured I'd share :3

Something that strikes me as ridiculous

This might not be completely on relationships, but it's something that bothers me...

Now, I've been thinking about this for a little while (mostly because it popped back into my head because of the Grammys) and I have to say, some of the things floating around on Twitter are rather unacceptable.

One of the things that was a big topic was Chris Brown. Normally, I'm not really one to catch up on celebrities. But a lot of tweets were floating around Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook, and the like.

The tweets in question are the then trending tag/topic, "I'd let Chris Brown beat me."

It baffles me. So many young women (and possibly men or gender neutral/fluid people, too) saying that they'd like someone to abuse them.

In no way is it alright for someone to abuse someone else. Just in general.

And especially in a relationship. Because you love and trust that person. For anyone to lay a hand on you that is even remotely violent is unacceptable.

Regardless of how you may or may not know that person, that's abuse (or domestic abuse, depending on the situation) and should be reported to the police.

In no way should you praise anyone, celebrity or not, for beating up anyone, significant other or not.

People who love each other should not have to stoop to violence to get their point across. Talk it out like adults and if you can't, then there's a possibility that maybe you shouldn't be together.

And, if your significant other is, indeed, violent, try and get them some help and take a break for a while. Sure, be there when they need it, but make sure that you're going to be safe and that they're actually getting the treatment they need to make them a better person so that they don't need to rely on violence.

EDIT: This also goes for someone who is verbally abusive. Though, it a bit harder to report to the police (it might just end up as harassment, but that'd be better than nothing), but if you feel uncomfortable at all, try and talk to them. If you can't (if they just continue to fly off the handle), the best thing is to make sure that you're safe and get out of the relationship.

Happy Valentines day!

So, it's Valentines day! That holiday that many couples celebrate.

Whether it be flowers, chocolates, or other gifts, there are sure to be many a happy people out there.

So, what did you get your significant other this year? Something special? Store bought or hand made?



As for myself, I sent Ethan a really nice Black Mesa mug that he's been wanting for a little while, now. He' seems rather taken with it and uses it pretty often. I got it for him as an early gift so he can get some practical use out of it.





As for what he got me, it was flowers and chocolates. Alas, I don't have a picture or either at the moment.

But! I hope that you all have a nice day and a wonderful date with your significant other :D Whatever it is that they got you, I hope that it's lovely, and whatever you got them, I hope that it made them smile!

My long distance relationship with Ethan

**Some links contain various other links, so some might not be work safe/g-rated :x I apologize in advance.**

Ethan and I met via the Slender Man Mythos. Very strange way to become a couple, but, meh, it works XD I love him dearly, anyway X3

I am very glad that I’m involved in the Slenderverse. There are so many wonderful people in it. I’m am very glad that I started to talk to the creators and make a shit ton of new friends. If I hadn’t pushed my nervousness out of the way, I don’t know where I’d be now.

I contacted them all, one by one, asking them to join me in and experimental creators chat, assuming that I would get a few “Yes”s and a ton of “No”s, but contrary to what I thought, at least 90% of the people I talked to said that they would come on the tentative date that I had set, later being the actual date for us all to meet in February of last year (this year being 2012) in Tinychat.

At first, it was the EverymanHYBRID guys, Adam (Tribe Twelve), Tom (Seeking Truth, The Mystic), Lyn (Make it Count), Ethan (Hiking Fiend, Wheels within Wheels; my current boyfriend), Damien (Drams in Darkness, Deja vu Dreamer) and quite a few others. Everyone was super nice and we had mini meet ups as a general chat before hand and everyone was glorious and nice and I feel in love with them all as friends.

We started of in my personal Tinychat (and still are, but it’s password protected and I swap it out every so often), and then we moved to to Skype and have our on group chat (chats now, there are multiple ones) and everyone exchanged instant messengers (Skype, MSN, Yahoo, AIM, and the like) and emails and we all talk to each other.

Then some of us swapped phone numbers. The person I talked to the most (and who ran up the phone bill on my end) was Ethan. We talked generally about pretty much anything and I help him through a tough spot being as supportive as I could because I didn’t like seeing him go though hardships.

I think around that time was when Ethan fell in love with me. We still talked normally for a while, and Thage (Outside Peering In) and Kite (The Lives and Respawns of Ken D.) were told that he liked me and I believe that Thage had him work up the courage to tell me his feelings. Kite was the one that pushed me toward my own feelings, even though, at the time, I was in a relationship.

I struggled for a little while, but this was a great opportunity, someone who loved me and had a better understanding of my interestes because, well, he was interested in the same things. I grew very fond of Ethan, loving him because of both Kite and Thage pushing me to recognize my feelings, as much as I fought with them.

The Slenderverse had brought me someone whom I truly love unconditionally. Someone who puts up with me and helps me with whatever I need, and I am more than glad to do the same for him. I cannot imagine where I’d be without Ethan. He means everything to me. I love him so very much.

Slender Man, a being of horror, had brought me love, and I am grateful for it.

That being said, we met for the first time in late December. I never realized that he was all that much taller than myself until we'd actually met, haha. He's got a good half a foot over me (myself being about 5'5 and him being around 6 feet).

It was nice and we had as much fun as we could together! He's such a splendid gentleman :3

I'll leave you off with some pictures :D

These are the matching pair of Portal necklaces that I got us for Christmas:

This is us on the first day that he came and on New Years Eve, respectively:

And here he is being adorable :3

Introduction

This is obviously about relationships (general, advice, stories, etc). I'll try and post up nice stories I find about couples, advice, and general things about relationships.

I'll post a little about myself and about my relationship.

I'm Michelle. I am currently in school and looking to major in graphic design.

I'm currently in a long distance relationship with an amazing guy named Ethan. He's all the way in California. I'm two years his senior (I'm 21 and he's 19) and we met online though common interests after I PMed him about a group meet online in my personal TinyChat channel to meet various other people who had the same common interest (all are really lovely people and other relationship sprung up due to it as well.)

We met for the first time in person in December and he stayed for about two week and it was nice, aside from any drama that happened with my family. He's a really nice and amazing person and I love him to bits. :D

I'll prob'ly post up pictures of our little meet later and go into more detail so I can start off with a story :3 Then I'll focus on other stories and give advice and the like.