Artist: Frank Sinatra
Song: Somewhere Beyond the Sea

Somewhere beyond the sea
Somewhere waitin' for me
My lover stands on golden sand
And watches the ships that go sailin'

Somewhere beyond the sea
She's there watchin' for me
If I could fly like birds on high
Then straight to her arms I'd go sailin'

I reworded this for class because the original is riddled with curses and whatnot (the original picture will be up on the Tumblr companion and the twitter feed).

I have a lot of issues with the whole "Good Guy" situation. There are a lot of people (I've seen it mainly with guys, but it can be applied to anyone, no matter what gender) nag and complain about how they get over looked and how they're a good guy and that all the girls/boys/etc should show some sort of interest in them.

They complain that, despite all their hard work and effort and trying to be a good friend, that girls/guys/etc. don't see anything in them and get mad and bent out of shape because they got rejected. They are only nice to the people they like and try to seem like they're not interested and start out as friends with their only intent being that they want a date from that person or would like to have relations with that person, pretty much only using their friendship to get to that point.

Now, I usually call this the "Good Guy Syndrome." I don't like people like this. I typically avoid them because they're not good people to start off with. It's hard to describe how people like this act, but it's like instinct.

These are the kinds of people who get really mad about being "Friend zoned," something of which I'll get into in a later post.

There's also the "Nice Guy," who will be your friend and expect nothing out of you. Sure, there's that chance that they may like you, but they're not going to pursue a relationship you because they actually value your friendship over the chance to be in a relationship with you.

Now, the jury's out as to which of these terms is correct, but this is how I tend to see it, so... I think that I'm missing a few points, but this is generally how I feel about this issue :/

Since this is actually quite pertinent to this blog

And since I plan on covering a few of these topics, here are some help lines, some general and some not related to relationships, that can help you with professional help. If all else fails, please contact one of these numbers. If you don't have someone to lean on or someone that will listen to you, even if it's a stranger, call these people up with whatever concerns you have about the designated topics.

Depression

Suicide Hotline: 1-800-SUICIDE (2433) – Can use in US, U.K., Canada and Singapore
Suicide Crisis Line: 1-800-999-9999
National Suicide Prevention Helpline: 1-800-273-TALK (8245)
National Adolescent Suicide Helpline: 1-800-621-4000
Postpartum Depression: 1-800-PPD-MOMS
NDMDA Depression Hotline – Support Group: 1-800-826-3632
Veterans: 1-877-VET2VET
Crisis Help Line – For Any Kind of Crisis: 1-800-233-4357
Suicide & Depression Crisis Line – Covenant House: 1-800-999-9999

Domestic Abuse

National Child Abuse Helpline: 1-800-422-4453
National Domestic Violence Crisis Line: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
National Domestic Violence Hotline (TDD): 1-800-787-32324
Center for the Prevention of School Violence: 1-800-299-6504
Child Abuse Helpline: 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453)
Domestic Violence Helpline: 1-800-548-2722
Healing Woman Foundation (Abuse): 1-800-477-4111
Child Abuse Hotline Support & Information: 1-800-792-5200
Women’s Aid National Domestic Violence Helpline: (UK Only) 0345 023 468
Sexual Abuse Centre: (UK Only) 0117 935 1707
Sexual Assault Support (24/7, English & Spanish): 1-800-223-5001
Domestic & Teen Dating Violence (English & Spanish: 1-800-992-2600

Alcohol & Drug Abuse

National Association for Children of Alcoholics: 1-888-55-4COAS (1-888-554-2627)
National Drug Abuse: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)
Al-Anon/Alateen Hope & Help for young people who are the relatives & friends of a problem drinker): 1-800-344-2666
Alcohol/Drug Abuse Hotline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)
Be Sober Hotline: 1-800-BE-SOBER (1-800-237-6237)
Cocaine Help Line: 1-800-COCAINE (1-800-262-2463)
24 Hour Cocaine Support Line: 1-800-992-9239
Ecstasy Addiction: 1-800-468-6933
Marijuana Anonymous: 1-800-766-6779

Youth & Teen Hotlines

National Youth Crisis Support: 1-800-448-4663
Youth America Hotline: 1-877-YOUTHLINE (1-877-968-8454)
Covenant House Nine-Line (Teens): 1-800-999-9999
Boys Town National: 1-800-448-3000
Teen Helpline: 1-800-400-0900
TeenLine: 1-800-522-8336
Youth Crisis Support: 1-800-448-4663 or 1-800-422-0009
Runaway Support (All Calls are Confidential): 800-231-6946
Child Helpline: (UK Only) 0800 1111

Pregnancy Hotlines

AAA Crisis Pregnancy Center: 1-800-560-0717
Pregnancy Support: 1-800-4-OPTIONS (1-800-467-8466)
Pregnancy National Helpline: 1-800-356-5761
Young Pregnant Support: 1-800 550-4900

Gay and Lesbian Hotlines

The Trevor Helpline (For homosexuality questions or problems): 1-800-850-8078
Gay & Lesbian National Support: 1-888-THE-GLNH (1-888-843-4564)
Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender (GLBT) Youth Support Line: 1-800-850-8078
Lesbian & Gay Switchboard: (UK Only) 0121 622 6589
Lothian Gay & Lesbian Switchboard – Scotland: (Scotland Only) 0131 556 4049

Other Hotlines

Self-Injury Support: 1-800-DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288) (www.selfinjury.com)
Eating Disorders Awareness and Prevention: 1-800-931-2237 (Hours: 8am-noon daily, PST)
Eating Disorders Center: 1-888-236-1188
Help Finding a Therapist: 1-800-THERAPIST (1-800-843-7274)
Panic Disorder Information and Support: 1-800-64-PANIC (1-800-647-2642)
TalkZone (Peer Counselors): 1-800-475-TALK (1-800-475-2855)
Parental Stress Hotline: 1-800-632-8188
National AIDS Helpline: (UK Only) 0800 567 123

Artist: Goo Goo Dolls
Song: Iris

And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
And sooner or later it's over
I just don't wanna miss you tonight

This kinda strikes me as a long distance song, but I love it, it's the ringtone that I use for Ethan :3

(Image was edited for content so it'd be safe to put on here)

I’m sorry, what if the relationship is abusive or one person is leeching off the other? It’s possibly for them to both be happy, but that doesn’t mean the relationship is healthy.

Piggybacking off of what a friend said.

It’s perfectly fine if s/os are happy with each other and are comfortable and what not. So long as it’s a completely healthy relationship.

It’s not alright if they’re both happy and someone’s being used, cheated on, lied to, abused, or anything else.

Being in a healthy relationship takes precedence over being in a happy-yet-abusive one. Sadly, there are people that still continue to seek out harmful relationships due to certain circumstances which is terrible.

I'll get into abusive relationships sometime soon, but I figured that I'd at least cover this a bit now and get into details later.

Some asks that I got on Tumblr

Not on the Tumblr counterpart of this blog, but another general advice blog that my boyfriend and I run. Asks/advice will be italicized, my answers will be in normal font, and my boyfriend's answers will be in bold. (mind you, this is all from the same person, so there's no confusion)

Dealing with jealous exes isn't fun, but we tried our best to give this person advice.

My fiance's ex was paranoid about me & my fiance getting into a relationship pretty much their entire relationship. My fiance's ex chose to end the relationship not once but twice & after a mutually agreed upon amount of time, they said they would date other people, at which point me & my now fiance started dating because we both happened to be single & discovered that we loved each other. Now the ex is freaking out & making things difficult for us & mutual friends

I feel like I need to try to smooth things over, at least a bit, since we run in the same circle, but there are all of these built up negative feelings and insecurities towards me because she feared this for the last three years and now it’s happened, and I know it’s easier to hate me than my fiance. Should I try to talk to her and, if so, what should I say? I know we did nothing wrong but her ex clearly feels like we did, just by starting to date one another and now getting engaged.

Hrm…

I feel like there are a few options, here.

First being that you and your fiance’s ex (you can have your fiance there, too, if you’d like or if they insist or if it’ll help) sit and have a civil talk about what they’re upset/angry/whatever about and see if there’s any way to resolve their feelings.

Second is to let them know that you don’t appreciate the fact that they’re just being a bit antagonistic and jealous and that they should calm down or that you’ll just break ties with them. Though, try not to come off too confrontational because you don’t really want a fight, or at least a big fight if you can help things.

Third is to just ignore them and cut ties. This is probably a bit more drastic, but this would be a last ditch effort. If they’re not going to be cooperative, it’s best to just cut ties and go about your business.

Sorry if this isn’t everything, but this is just what I could think of for the time being. I could prob’ly think of a few more things, but it generally goes back to these. And I’m sorry for the wording :x

- Chase

Fiance/ex drama back again. Option 1 might work. The ex is very passive-aggressive & tends to back down when having to discuss things directly, even if it's said in a non-confrontational manner. I wouldn't want my fiance there though because I already feel like she's stuck in the middle & that isn't really fair to her & one of the issues already. Option 3 is hard just because it is so drastic & would turn me into the bad guy, which I think is actually what the ex wants.

I know that feeling, anon. So my advice would be to get friends in on this. Have them do an intervention without you there, something along the lines of “This is not acceptable behavior, you need to stop”. That should smooth things out.

Fiance/ex drama. That's kind of the problem is that everyone is becoming resentful over being put in the middle & I feel like if I directly ask to stage an intervention, they're going to become even more resentful. Everyone has indicated that me & the ex need to sort this out ourselves (& I agree) but she refuses to talk to me because I think it's too frightening for her to own up to all of those negative feelings & fears involving me & my fiance, because she was always afraid of that happening.

Well, if you need to sort it out, do it when friends are near. Say, in another or something. That way neither of you can storm off and claim the other did something that they didn’t.

Things you can together

Here are a few things that you can do together with you significant other, whether or not you're in a long distance relationship or not :D

Dates
You can go on date. Take your s/o out and chill together. You don't have to have money to take your s/o out.

If you're in a long distance relationship, you can go on a video date. You can use Skype, Tinychat, Oovoo, and various other video chat programs and sites.

Video games
If your s/o is interested in video games, you can play multiplayer games together.

If you're in an LDR, you can use things like Steam, Xbox Live, and the PSN to connect to your s/o to play games if you have the same games

Food
You can go out for food (breakfast, lunch, dinner, etc) or you can cook for your s/o or you can order out or something.

LDR: You can eat together on cam, if you'd like. It doesn't really have to be a fancy meal, either.

Holidays/Birthdays
You can be there with them and spend time together during important holidays and for their birthdays. It makes that day all the more fun and special.

LDR: You can try and visit when there's a major holiday or if your s/o's birthday is coming up. If you can't visit (money seems to be a big issue), you can send them presents and be there with them on cam to be there for them and to watch them open up their gifts.


And there are various other things that you can do with your s/o, but these are just general things to start you out with :D